SeeUinHell.com Manifesto ... Please Read Quickly for Full Effect


Part 1: Stereotyping is Laziness ... There are Other Ways to Dislike People by: Agent Smith	Part 2: Sometimes, it's O.K. to Have Antipathy for an Entire Class of People by: Skeeky Webo, Jr.
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Stereotyping is Laziness ... There are Other Ways to Dislike People. By: Agent Smith

It all started with a dream . . .

Granted, it was a drunken, feverish dream, but it was a dream nonetheless. And so, two men driven to realize their dream (and ignoring the advice of their wife and girlfriend, respectively) founded SeeUinHell.com in the hope that it would evolve into something bigger than themselves, or at least into some other pedantic cliché.

At SeeUinHell.com, we look forward to the day when all men (and when we say 'men', we mean 'people' in the genderless sense once championed by various Dead White Guys, but now currently made unfashionable by the thought police who are more concerned about how you say something than what you mean) can put aside hatred based on race, or nationality, or any other stereotype, and learn to hate one another for who we are as individuals. We believe that bigotry is nothing less than intellectual laziness, because it means that you didn't take the time to discover what is unlikable about your fellow man (there it is again - see above) on a one-to-one basis. When you say, "If those Lesbian Eskimos move in next door, there goes the neighborhood," what you're really saying is, "I'm too lazy to find out that Ikgluglick and her life partner Cathy prattle endlessly about HMO reform and how you MUST rent 'American Pie' because it's SOOO funny and their husky keeps stealing my paper off the front porch."

With that said, let us begin our journey of discovery, and make ourselves aware of that which is detestable about those with whom we are forced to share the planet. Like the crapweasels who are cyber-squatting at the web address seeyouinhell.com. We could take the easy way out, and simply say that the operators of GreatDomains.com are Goat-Blowing Monkey Fuckers (hereafter abbreviated as "GBMF"), but that would be wrong, and not just because it might invite a lawsuit (which lawsuit, by the way, would not prevail because the term is a statement of opinion, not fact ... disregarding that it may well be a fact). It would mean that we hadn't taken the time to understand their incomprehensible belief that someone like us should pay them $300 for the domain name seeyouinhell.com (a 500% markup over list) just because they got there first and put their stupid little placeholder page up. You see, when you get right down to it, you can find reasons to hate just about anyone if you take the time to get to know them . . .

Which brings us to our weekly feature - On a Scale of 1-10, <Blank> Sucks!, where we provide the public service of providing to our visitors specific reasons why celebrities, politicians, activist groups, and so on need to be detested. If you have a suggestion for a future subject of scrutiny, please e-mail it to webmaster@SeeUinHell.com. Be sure to send however many reasons why you hate your subject.

By the way. I may detest you as well. However, I don't know enough about you to render an informed opinion. Email will help.

Your pal,
Agent Smith

The SeeUinHell Manifesto Part II: Sometimes, it's OK to Have Antipathy for an Entire Class of People.

Hey. We all know it's not cool to stereotype and to hate individuals just because they belong to a specific class, group, religion, nationality etc. Yet, we can't always forego laziness in our quest for acceptable xenophobia. Simply put, there are times when you can have incredible distaste for a group even though you know nothing about the individuals comprising it.

You can't defame the dead; and you can't offend the extinct or the fictional. Here are a few groups that really get my proverbial goat:

Mayans:
Think they're so special with their fabulous calendar and their primitive brain surgery. Well ... where'd you all disappear to then ... huh? And don't say, "Oh, we just decided to disband our highly advanced civilization and leave our wonderful cities and go live in the woods." I don't buy it, you scumbags.

Lilliputians:
Ewww! All those little folks living in their little city and running around getting their little grubby hands all over everything. Ick! Makes me shudder to think about it. I just wanna pee on them like Gulliver did.

Alien Architects:
For thousands and thousands of years, these jerks have been lurking around our solar system leaving their mark in any stupid way they seem fit: the pyramids, crop circles, those American "mounds," Easter Island, the face on Mars, moon craters. As far as I'm concerned, they're nothing more than extraterrestrial taggers! God I hate them. Go leave your giant adolescent hieroglyphs and your stupid rock-castles on a planet that cares!

Druids:
After enduring a lengthy rant on organized religion, my girlfriend asked me if I would become a Druid with her. I said, "They like trees, right?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Then sure. I like trees too . . . Wait a minute! The Druids were run by women, weren't they?"
She said, "Yes."
"Goddam Druids."

Anyway, being a Druid ain't bad, I guess. At least I still have a girlfriend. (In fact, she married me.)

Your friend,
Skeeky Webo, Jr.