Friday, March 26, 2004
By the Way ... What's Up With Saddam?
Remember "We got him!" and all that? Now nary a word about Saddam for months. Did they banish him to Elba or something?
posted by Skeeky at 10:39 AM
Monday, March 22, 2004
"Dead" bumps "Passion" Over Weekend
Opening this weekend, the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" finally toppled Mel Gibson's controversial "Passion of the Christ" from its weeks-long reign at the top of the box office charts. This marks the first time a bloody gore-fest about the dead rising from their graves to eat people outsold a bloody gore-fest about a guy that rises from the grave to save people.
posted by Skeeky at 9:22 AM
Saturday, March 20, 2004
WAR Redux
Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the war in Iraq. I spent the whole day trying to find something funny to say about it ... but it didn't come.
Last Years' Prediction: there are no WMD ... jesus it seemed obvious. Check.
New Prop Wager: Cheney+Scalia - possible disclosure of favoritism that results in VP probs on scale of Spiro Agnew. Odds 12:1.
posted by Skeeky at 2:08 PM
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Happy St. Patrick's Day
posted by Skeeky at 9:22 AM
U.S. to Step Up Military Operations in Afghanistan? 'Bout Time.
U.S. military officials have announced and intent to launch a spring offensive in Afghanistan, and have already begun to step up operations in the "War on Terror" and Osama bin Laden. When asked why such action is being taken now, after spending the last year in Iraq -- the one place they know Osama isn't -- a military spokesman replied, "Well ... it's kinda dangerous there."
posted by Skeeky at 9:21 AM
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
It's a Gas! ... and a Liquid ... and a Solid ...
Dihydrogen monoxide: the new danger. Recent web postings detail the potential dangers of dihydrogen monoxide, noting it is colorless, odorless, and tasteless, and can be fatal if inhaled in small quantities. City officials in Alisa Viejo, California even proposed a ban on foam products at city events because the substance was used in their manufacture.
It's water ... get it? H20. A gullible paralegal (and terrible researcher) fell for it in Alisa Viejo. Once again the internet proves to be history's largest repository of apocryphal information.
posted by Skeeky at 9:25 AM
Friday, March 05, 2004
Martha! Martha! Martha!
That's right! You're busted!
This week on "Short-Time Living" we're looking forward to tips on brightening up that lice-ridden mattress ticking with a few throw pillows. I'll also be creating a lovely shiv from an unused cake server I stole from a wedding. And we'll be softening the bars with sheer drapery made from toilet tissue! Splendid!
Next week: Shiv cozies! Also, making the best of your mess hall dining partners.
posted by Skeeky at 5:11 PM
